John Terry Signs For Spurs On Two-Year Deal

John Terry Signs For Spurs On Two-Year Deal

Tottenham Hotspur have completed the signing of free agent John Terry on a two-year deal, with an option for a third year if both parties are willing. The Chelsea legend had been hotly tipped to join Aston Villa but surprised fans and bookies alike by joining bitter London rivals Spurs.

Honour

Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino believes that the 36 year-old defender still has plenty to offer.

“John’s a leader on and off the pitch,” the Argentinian told Soccer on Sunday. “First thing he did after signing was ask the club secretary for all the staff and players’ wives’ phone numbers, and invite them all to dinner in his basement. How classy is that? I say basement, but my wife says it’s really more of a sex dungeon. Strange place to host a dinner, but apparently John’s kitchen is being treated for an outbreak of The Clap.”

“Credit to him, he throws a mean dinner party,” added Pochettino. “My wife didn’t come home for 2 days. Can you believe that? And John must keep horses, because she waddled through the door looking like she’d just rode the Grand National. When I asked how dinner went, she screamed ‘I AMN’T ON TRIAL HERE’ and stormed out, saying she’d be at John’s because he understands her. She’s obviously going through something, poor girl. I’m just glad John is there for her.”

Clunge

Terry insists that he hasn’t made the move across London for footballing reasons.

“I’m all about the clunge at this point of my career,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Mauricio sat me down and painted his vision, where I fit in, how Tottenscum Hotspunk are going to win the league, blah blah blah. Biggest pile of shite I’ve ever heard. But then his missus walked in with a tray of tea and crumpets. ‘There’s a tasty bit of crumpet,’ I said with a wink. She winked back. Bish, bash, bosh, Bob’s your uncle. I’m a Spurs player.”

“Mmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm,” moaned the Chelsea legend softly, while pawing at his crotch.

“Mmmmmmmmmm,” added Terry. “Mmmmmm”.

SOURCE;socceronsunday